Blurry
by MauMaster
Summary: Love is confusing. Alec doesn't think he understands it anymore than Jace. Where do the lines blur between friends and family and romance? A walk through the city doesn't make the picture any clearer, but it does clear the air of things that just needed.


**Title: **Blurry

**Summary: **_Love __is confusing. Alec doesn't think he understands it anymore than Jace. Where do the lines blur between friends and family and romance? A walk through the city doesn't make the picture any clearer, but it does clear the air of things that just needed to be said._

**Notes: **Oops. I'm a day late. Sorry guys, homework got a bit overwhelming! I had studying and worksheets and bookwork and somehow had to slip sleep into there. Anyhow, I hope this Alec/Jace bonding makes up for it! I tried at least 3 different situations, 3 different settings with this idea, but this was the only one that worked (in one, Jace fell asleep. I'm not sure how it happened. Just in the middle of the conversation, they go quiet and the next thing I know, Jace WayMorgenHeronWood is fast asleep). I happen to like this one a lot, though the one where Jace fell asleep really was my favorite... maybe I'll figure out how to finish that and post it anyway. Enjoy!

(Post CoG) (Oneshot)

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. Man, I wish I did, but 11:11 doesn't actually work that well.**

* * *

Alec stuck his hands in his pockets and pushed open the door to the Institute with his shoulder. After all that time in Alicante, all those fields and open space, the church was stifling.

And everyone was too close. That was, everyone but Magnus, who was often too busy to be near.

"Hey, Alec, wait up!"

Alec shut his eyes, but froze. He had been intending on sneaking out, on getting some peace and privacy for just a few moments. He had been watched like a hawk since they got home. It was as if his mother expected him to start suddenly wearing glitter and rainbows. He had to snort at the thought. Colorful clothing wasn't going to be a part of his wardrobe willingly.

Jace jumped off the steps and landed beside him gracefully. "Where are you going?"

Alec opened his eyes again and shrugged. "Somewhere."

Jace lifted his eyebrows. "Magnus?"

Alec shook his head, slightly sorrowful. "Nope. He's got some party to go to. He invited me, but…" Alec shrugged again. "Not my thing." He glanced at Jace. He looked serious, his gold eyes hardened. "I told him maybe next time."

"So you're just walking?"

Alec nodded and took a step toward the gates.

"Can I join you?" Jace sounded hesitant.

Alec frowned. Jace _never _seemed hesitant. A million questions came to mind, a million things he wanted to say, but he refused to say them. That would make them real. "Sure," he simply answered and they set off, side by side, shoulders brushing as they walked.

* * *

"This isn't weird for you, is it?" Jace asked when they were about a block away from the Institute. Neither had said a word since they left, but Alec could hear Jace's uncertainty.

"No," he said slowly and turned his head to look at his friend. "Is it for you?"

Jace shook his head quickly, rapidly. "No, no. It's just that I thought you might not want to be walking around with some guy that's not your boyfriend."

Alec laughed. He could only hope that was Jace's only problem. "Magnus doesn't have an issue with you."

"You're right," Jace said, bobbing his head. "He has several."

Alec nudged Jace in the ribs. "He's going to tell me I can't go walking around with my parabatai? My brother? That's like telling me I shouldn't walk around with Izzy."

Jace stopped short and said gravely, "You shouldn't. Last time I did, she ditched me for a pair of cheap shoes in a store."

Silence fell again. The streetlights only illuminated so much.

Alec took a breath. There was only so long he could escape the knowledge, only so long he could avoid and duck from the truth. "Jace -"

"Alec –"

The boys looked at each other and laughed uneasily.

"You first," Jace urged and mimicked Alec, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Alec shook his head. "No, you."

Jace rolled his eyes but nodded. "Sure." He hesitated. "When did you figure it out? That you liked me. Romantically, I mean. I know you _didn't_ actually, but when did you start thinking you did? I'm curious."

Alec reddened. "Erm… well… you want an honest answer, right?"

"If I wanted bullshit, I'd go ask where Isabelle was last night," he said. "Yes, I want an honest answer."

Alec had to think about that for a moment. Their footsteps fell in sync, shoes slapping against the pavement.

"Alec, if you don't want to, you don't–"

"I was fourteen," Alec interrupted quietly. He looked at Jace to try and gauge his reaction, but the golden haired boy faced forward, determinedly, as if this was going to be painful to hear. "Izzy was twelve, you were thirteen. Max… he was five, I think. I don't know what happened that made me start thinking that way." He shrugged. "I just… did. One day I looked at you and you were my best friend. The next, you were… more, I guess. I don't know how it happened."

Jace seemed at loss for words.

"Jace?"

"Yeah?"

"You've been acting weird since we got home. Around me, at least. You were fine with… everything with me in Alicante."

Jace nodded slowly. "I still am fine with it." He faced Alec now, and he was relieved to see that Jace looked truthful. "I've just been thinking… and I know it sounds weird and if you tell Izzy, I'll kill you, but I've been thinking about love."

Alec furrowed his forehead. "About Clary?"

Jace shrugged. "Partially. Love in general, really. Do you think Stephen Herondale loved Celine? Why didn't Jocelyn and Luke admit they love each other? Why is love so hard to deal with?"

Alec's lips curled into a smile. "Since when have I been the expert?"

"You have a boyfriend."

"You have a girlfriend and Izzy almost has a boyfriend."

Jace shrugged. "Your relationship had the least problems."

Alec laughed loudly and stopped walking. Bathed with the light from a streetlight, he shook his head. "Least problems? We're still having problems, severe ones! Downworlders and Nephilim don't mix well, you know that. He's still trying to get his friends to accept me. And I'm still trying to get Mom and Dad to accept _him_."

"In all fairness, you sort of shocked them," Jace said. "They had no idea you're gay and suddenly, 'Oh, hey, I'm making out with a warlock.' Give them time."

The question nagged Alec again. "How'd you figure it out? If they had no clue, how did you?"

Jace leaned against a shop window. "I didn't. Magnus told me. He was sick of you 'fantasizing' and wanted me to make it stop." He looked away. "I probably should have listened to him. I didn't believe him at first, you know? And I didn't want to humiliate you by saying anything that wasn't true. I think I caught on that it was real around the Fearless rune."

"And?"

He sighed. "And then there was so much to handle that I couldn't focus on making the warlock that pisses me off happy. My own love life was sort of consuming me." He gave a lopsided grin. "I know I'm a self centered jerk. But I still love you, you know that right?"

Alec nodded, his throat tight. "You didn't catch on before that at all? Clary… Izzy said that Clary did. And Simon."

"Clary likes her details. She doesn't talk to me about that stuff, she thinks your business is yours, but she probably noticed something real minor. And the vampire… well, I still have my suspicions about him. Magnus ought to watch out, he's got competition."

Alec hid a grin and a blush. "I'm not the Lightwood he likes, trust me. You should have seen him and Izzy after the funeral. I walked in on a full lip lock."

"Ew. Who would kiss _him_?"

"Your girlfriend."

"Touché." Jace paused. "Want to head back home?

Alec nodded and took a breath. "Sure. I left my phone anyway."

They turned around and Jace nudged Alec this time. "Waiting for a call from Magnus?"

Alec let the breeze ruffle his hair, while Jace hurriedly straightened his out. "Waiting to find out what time I have to be over tomorrow morning."

"What are you two doing?" Jace wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Alec crossed his arms. "Me? I'll be dunking his head in a bucket of cold water. Magnus? He'll be suffering a hangover."

"If I get drunk, will you do that for me?"

Alec considered. "Sure. But I'm putting ice in the bucket, too."

Jace flinched. "You're harsh."

"You still won't learn your lesson."

"Then why torture me?"

The Institute came into view a few silent moments later. Alec pushed open the door for Jace. "So," he said. "Learn anything about love?"

Jace walked past him and shoved his jacket into Alec's arms. "Yeah, actually."

Alec tossed the jacket at his brother's head. "Oh yeah? What?"

Jace caught the jacket with one hand and twisted around, his face only partially lit in the dim hallway. "That it's just as farsighted as I thought. But friendship is like putting a pair of glasses on. Thanks."

Alec grinned as Jace walked away. It was good to have his best friend back.

"Alec, you've got like, five texts from Magnus!" Jace yelled from the kitchen. "It looks like you're right – his hangover's going to be pretty bad! He's had fifteen billion drinks, he said!"

Alec rolled his eyes and sighed. "That means about seven, in drunk Magnus langauge!" he shouted back. And sometimes, just sometimes, the invasion of privacy that came with it just sucked.

Either way, he was glad to have Jace as a brother.

* * *

Note: Oh, Magnus... But most importantly, oh, Jace... what did you just say? I honestly wrote the metaphor and got confused while trying to interpret it. I had to ask a friend for help. In my defense, I was pretty tired that night. If you need it though: He's basically saying that love isn't blind, but it's like needing a pair of glasses REALLY badly. Like I need them. That friendship can make it a little easier to see, just like glasses.

I hope you enjoyed the brotherly bonding!


End file.
